No its not sweet 😑:?

Hello people. How are you doing?  I hope we’ve been having a good time like me? God has been really faithful. 

Let’s get on to business shall we? 

Quite a while back I remember traveling with my mum for a programme which she was invited to. During our stay there a couple came over to visit us with their toddler daughter. She was such a pretty young girl. While we all gisted and what not, she began to misbehave and upon her father correcting her a couple of times she would not at all stop what it was she was up to. Somewhere along the line her dad really got ticked off and proceeded to spank the little girl. Of course everyone else’s initial reaction was to try to console her and all of that but what makes me remember this incident in particular was the girls next reaction. After she started crying due to the spanking, she ran away from her dad to the opposite side of the room. While everyone’s arms were open with cajoling words for her to run into any one of them,  she did  a quick perusal of her options and then ran right back into her fathers arms. Of course he comforted her after reminding her not to misbehave again. Her reaction made my heart smile that day and every time I’ve remembered that incident since then. 

Hold that thought for me.

Now about the topic of this write up. I had cause to be reading my bible during the earlier parts of this year and over time a reflection of myself that I really didn’t like began to show itself in the pages of my bible. A certain part of my attitude was not at all what it should be and the word of God was calling me out, without even trying to be subtle about it. I can tell you for a fact that at that particular moment in time I didn’t like what I was reading. Suddenly the word of God wasn’t sweet again. I wasn’t reading it with a smile on my face. This was not the rhema I wanted. Ah ahn, kilode? (What is it) But I’ve behaved like this and this to people. I’ve been nice now. How can it be true? But there it was. In so many different places. The Holyspirit was cautioning me. I was not happy.

It’s not easy to hear that you have not been doing what is right. Let me spell it out well. It is not easy to hear that you are wrong. Especially in a place where you thought you were right in the first instance. E can pain!!! I don’t know if you’ve ever been there. When you told a lie just before evening service and Pastor decides to read that place in the bible that says God detests a lying tongue, or just when you decided not to return mummy’s change that uncle Christian brother sends a long bc describing the intricacies of honesty in our actions. Even that day when you finished running down one girl like that your devotional choses to use that passage about gossiping. But who still talks about gossiping these days when there is grace to preach about? The next move is usually defence, rationalisation, “I didn’t mean it that way”, “honestly my intentions where clean”. The hardest person to convince usually is ourselves. Because if your conscience is alive and sensitive to the spirit you will hear that gentle caution and in my personal experience at that very point in time, the word of God is anything but sweet to our taste. Most times the easiest thing to do then is to runaway from it. Denial. Tell ourselves we’re fine anyway. It is much harder to admit I’ve been wrong and Jesus is right. 

The truth of the matter is more times than not, given that we are imperfect individuals there’s always something to correct, and the only way to stay in the straight and narrow is to write the word of God upon our hearts until we become it. Easier said than done abi? I know. When it comes to character faults there’s having to let go of ourselves and let God work a new thing in our lives. More times than not it will even take a while. But the basis of this is even at times when the word of God may seem bitter it’s all for the good of you and I. Remember all the processes it takes for one to be purified as gold the way the bible says? You have to pass through the fire. Sometimes that fire is the word of God. The only way to know whether or not your makeup is on “fleek” before you leave the house is to look in the mirror and then ask your friend whether you look like a clown or not. Let us not be like a person who looks into the mirror and then looks away, forgetting our reflection almost immediately. That’s what we do when we don’t let the word change us. 

Now remember that baby girl at the beginning of all this, at that moment she ran back to her dad what came into my mind sitting in that room was Jesus saying that unless you be like a child you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. When the word of God scolds us and we feel pained the best place to run to is always back to that same word of God. It forever has the answers we need. You know why that girl ran back to her dad? She trusted him enough to know he still loved her, more than she trusted any one of us in the room. She had tried his love before I’m sure. The word of God is tried and tested. Do you trust it enough to change you?  

My ❤ Story…

He was my childhood friend. I can’t remember how exactly we met but he was always around. They always talked about him and pushed me towards him and made sure he followed me everywhere. It caught on. I kinda built my life around him. I knew what he liked and disliked and we talked every morning and night before I went to bed. He was mummy’s ideal man for me.
But I grew up.

While I kept him as my friend it was quite obvious we couldn’t be more than that, just friends. I mean he wasn’t my type. He wasn’t the coolest guy out there and he didn’t roll with the cool kids. Did I mention he was older? No? Cause it didn’t matter when I was younger but I had grown and he wanted to act like some father cum big brother figure and I wasn’t buying that. Always trying to tell me what to do and what not to do. Urgh… he was so annoying. Oh yes and boring. He had this habit of writing me letters. Lots of them. They filled a whole book. Who does that? I mean it could be cute but errr a bit to much maybe? On top of that he wanted to talk all the time. Talk about major clingy. But forget about him.

He wasn’t my type. Period.

So I shunned him and followed my types. The cool ones. The approved ones. I fell madly in love… I had fun. Then fun hurt and I couldn’t understand why. Fun didn’t last. They broke my heart. One after the other. After the crazy nights, and the popularity, all the thrills, it hurt. But the problem was never them, it was me. I wasn’t good enough. I never did it right enough for them. I had to do more. I had to keep their attention for them to keep mine. I needed them to love me. I failed. They walked me in circles. I didn’t know how to live without them, they were my pleasures, my human nature called out to them but they hurt me and then said they loved me. I was so confused. My parents didn’t understand but my friends did, we had the same lovers. The same pain. As for him? We barely talked anymore. We rolled with different crowds now.

So one of those days when again I wasn’t good enough, I wanted someone to at least like me and I remembered him. How much he used to dote on me. I wanted to call him. But like I said we rolled in different crowds now. If I wasn’t good for these guys I’d never be enough for him. He had such high standards. I figured I’d best stay with those who could tolerate my less than enough self. I never thought I’d say this, but all of a sudden, he was too good for me.

Then one of those days I met one of his friends, the ones who hung out with him now. I thought I’d irritate her or something. I figured he had told her how I treated him and she’d not like me. But she was so nice. There was just something about her. She reminded me of him. So while we talked she told me he still loved me. That he talked about me all the time. I told her I didn’t believe it. I told her she didn’t know the whole story. She told me it didn’t matter. Said I should go read the letters he wrote to me. With all the doubt in my heart I did. I couldn’t believe my eyes. He gave up so much for me. He still told everyone he loved me. Despite my brokenness and shame. It was like he took them all on himself. He identified with me like that. The things he wrote about me. The way he treasured me. Even before I was born. I cried and cried. With a trembling heart and feeble lips I called him. He answered. I was so scared I cut the call and went to tell her. His friend. I can’t tell you how much she helped. She invited me to hang with them. I met a lot of his family. They were more than I thought. And then I met him again, like really met him. I somehow believed everything. The way he loved me. Even when I told him parts of me still loved some of that old stuff, he simply said he’d love me through it if I let him. It wasn’t easy. Letting go of my past. Giving my all to him. Learning to love like him. It wasn’t easy. But now when I look at me I see through his eyes. I can say I am enough. I am loved. I am chosen. I am worthy. I am redeemed. I am forgiven.

So when I say Jesus is BAE. Understand I didn’t wake up one morning and follow a trend. We have solid history. That’s why he is Before All Else. He is my love.

Hint, HINT!!!

Hey lover, how are you?… happy new year🎉🎉🎉… oh yes I know it’s already February but anywho, it’s still the new year and I’m still feeling fresh plus I haven’t been here since last year. I know you’ve missed me… I’ve missed you too.


So this wasn’t the plan. Honestly. I was meant to do a new years post and subsequent posts to follow that but here came the new year and I had some bad form of writers block. I litterally wasn’t able to write anything. Not even when I had a topic and an idea of what it should look like. This therefore made me late on a couple projects and a particular assignment. Sigh and did i mention the year started with exams as usual? But guess who’s mojo came back? Yass baby you’re reading her right now. So again happy new year:). Let’s begin🙏.
Regarding the background story to this post, in the last one week or so I have had chance to come across John 11 multiple times, you know that scripture that talks about lazarus’ death and where Jesus popularly wept, and on two particular occasions I had chance to learn from it. On one ocassion I opened that scripture again and a verse in particular was just there in my face and therefore we are here right now.
Okay, I want to try to imagine what Mary and Martha were going through in the event of their brothers death. I want to think their brother got sick, and then this sickness got worse. They must have tried medicine and prayer and whatnot and then ah, weren’t  they were friends with that powerful man called Jesus. Hadn’t he formed love and all that famz with their family? Oya now they sent message to their close friend to come over and help. I mean, he had healed people before who didn’t even ask or know him, he surely will cross 7 rivers and 7 seas for a close friend. But let us just guess who didn’t show up?. Then ghen ghen lazarus died, and a whole four days after, these sisters heard that said friend was on his way… please just pause here and think of what you would have felt had it been you. I like to think that when Martha heard he was on his way all that grief rose up and she went to meet him halfway and when she got there her words were simply something like “lord, if you had been here, my brother would
Not have died”. I don’t know if she shouted, or said those words between painful sobs as a matter of wistfulness or regret, or if she went so close as to whisper them, but for me those words conveyed so much emotion. When her sister finally got to see Jesus she told him the same thing. If only you were here. Even those who heard speculated and said the same thing, where was he while his beloved friend was dieing? These same sentences that so many of us have said in so many ways at so many different times. It always sounds something like “God where were you when…?” “If only you were here when…?” “Were you asleep when…?” “Where was your God when…?” “But lord I prayed…?” Can you remember now?… and then they wept. Jesus too wept.
Now if you’ve read that scripture you, unlike the sisters know why Jesus didn’t come immediately, he knew what the sisters and onlookers didn’t. That this sickness was so that God would be glorified. Someone told me that sometimes God has got to strip you of your old glory so that when he glorifies you properly, oh boy… imagine lazarus and his family after he rose up from death. Testimony upon testimony and as per the rest of the world, it was a new height, I mean, so people can die and come back?, that Jesus guy can do that too?… but back to the present… half the time you don’t know what God is up too in your life. All those experiences and times when it may feel like you’ve prayed and prayed, gathered people to help you pray even and it seems like yet no answer, and then it’s like God where are you. It may have even been a past experience and the memory makes you want to ask, “Lord did you actually just sit back and watch that thing happen to my family, friend, or myself like that? but Jesus do you know that if you had been there it wouldn’t have happened?” This is an early year reminder that honestly everything happens for a reason and as a child of God your life stands to glorify him. Never limit God to the realities of your situation. Put faith into action.


Even when Martha didn’t understand, she believed and based on that belief she saw the glory. Understand that God hears our prayers, he’s always there, very aware of the situation at hand, feeling that pain you felt or are feeling, knowing that the plans he has for you are of good and not evil, to bring you to an expected end. Just like Jesus never let those his friends that he loved down is the same way he won’t let you down anytime, remember he loves you too. Just watch God make your life an expression of his glory… take this hint and allow God glorify himself that situation for your good.

Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your father in heaven
-Matthew 5: 16

Let wrap this year up boo😄🎉

Hey… gosh it’s been an eventful and worthwhile holiday period.


Part of the family for Christmas

I’ve had mad fun, met people, rekindled relationships, bonded with people, met the most amazing people, amongst other things.


I’m so blessed this Christmas, just thanking God so much but that’s just been one part of my year. Yes it’s that time of year again when we’re all wrapping it up so therefore… who wants to hear about my 2015? I’d tell you anyways.


Long sigh… 2015 was an eventful year for me. No it wasn’t all wonderful but I had loads of moments worth remembering. In 2015 so many people made my year wonderful. I had so many achievements, my friend and I launched our website, my work got better, it was majorly successful, my mum turned the big 50


I had so many answered prayers, I made amazing friends. I had work opportunities, I had so many great first experiences.
I failed. In places I should not have failed at all. I dragged my feet and was lazy at certain times I shouldn’t have been. I failed for lack of knowing any better and sometimes just for plain foolishness.


I learnt, lessons I was ready to learn and lessons I wasn’t. I got slapped by some hard facts and some easy to swallow ones too, I was pushed to lengths I didn’t want to reach and then surprisingly came out with knowledge I didn’t have before.  
I cried. I remember a day I got hit
By some very bad news. That day went by like a blur for me. I wrote a test and ran through a lot of things in a haze of some sort but well, all things happen for the good of those who love the Lord. And crying isn’t even new sef, that’s like a usual for me.


I saw God. I finally got something I had been wanting for years, and it just involved someone speaking… lol… I struggled with God, a lot. I got angry with him like I hadn’t before and got humbled by him. I laughed with him and danced with him and sometimes I abandoned him and then came back again. He was so constant, always is. I got reminded again of his ever faithful love.
I grew. Sometimes it was by achieving goals I had aimed for, other times the
Growth happened and I didn’t realise till I was told, others till I looked back and saw the change. 


I rejoiced. Omo I have had unending reasons to rejoice this year. Have I already said God has been good? I mean I turned a year older again and all that. I received so many physical and non physical gifts. It was amazeballs.
I lost… sigh. Lost someone who meant so much to me. It made me realise again life is short and appreciating people while they’re here is important. Mrs Awotedu I’d always remember your laugh and I’d laugh right along with it. I lost parts of myself I’d miss and not miss and I also lost things and people.
I achieved goals. I already said this before but really I finally did things
I’ve wanted to do for years or a less period of time like err, give a public testimony or two 😆, publish my poems, go to summer bible school… etc.
I made mistakes. Ones I’d probably have to take to the grave, sadly, but hey, where else would those lessons have come from?
I had mad fun. With friends, family, by myself, during crazy and quiet events, during lonely walks, I had bountiful portions of laughter.
In summary 2015 for me in a capsule was a year of self discovery cause I learnt things about myself I never knew before. Some I loved and some I didn’t like at all. I found a little more of my voice and grew some more spine. It’s been an eventful and wonderful year. I remember how beautiful it was at January and here I am in December thinking of it as beautiful still.
Did it turn out to be what I wanted? No more than yes but the surprises where worth while.
I’m super excited about 2016. For the first time in errr, I can’t even remember, I’m laying out a bucket list for the year and yes I know a lot of what it would consist of, and I’m happy to say I’ve started achieving some sef. I know people are sarcastic about new years resolutions and all considering I am one of them but lets see. I hope with the help of God I’d be ticking of my list this time next year. Pray with me so we don’t have to keep our fingers crossed. So here’s to 2016🍻, may it be the most awesome yet. I have very many expectations of the year ahead and I am confident that the expectations of this righteous girl shall not be cut off.


Who’s excited with me? What was your 2015 like?
Happy new year in advance people… see you soonest.

All about brands ‘n’ stuff…

Hey you, you’ve been awesome yes? Well I have been great myself, thank you. The Christmas season is well, seasonal at my end. So I didn’t intent this post to come this late but due to one thing one thing like that, it’s been sitting in draft. But because Christmas is here already *pauses for shoki interlude*, let’s do this baibee…


I’m back again with another movie😗. Who has watched ‘Syrup’? I thought it was pretty awsome and all of that. Like you should check it out, really. If you don’t like it sha… *lips sealed*. Anywho the movie was about rad stuff, basically branding and how the brand is what matters and not the product. The thing is I always knew that coke played a fast one on me and tricked my brain into believing coke was better than pepsi. I made noise about how I willingly bought into the trick even though I know there’s hardly a difference, so just in case anyone asks coke or Pepsi as concerning me, please purchase coke thank you :). But back to the point, Syrup just helped me build my argument that it wasn’t the product… really it’s never the product, it is and has always been the brand. The better the brand, the better the product… or so we are made to believe.
I mean, it applies to everything. No
Matter how many dupes a girl can find for a mac lipstick, the actual mac lipstick is still the ish and it’s more expensive than the duplicate, but hey its mac man, just sush already. And please name the line of product and realise that mostly you buy the brand not the product, who remembers when omo was the reigning brand of detergent in Nigeria? Not that others didn’t do the work oh, but omo did it better, and when closeup had its moments too… lol… you can maybe argue that we had less choices then but I beg to differ, we just had less others using great advertisements to buy market. Even now when we have options we still lean towards our brand of choice, if I see sunlight detergent, nothing will make me buy another, in fact I must have exhausted my options before I settle for less, when in fact omo could have as well done the job, don’t judge me😑. When it comes to such things as cleaning agents, beauty products and the ultimate, food, please scratch quality of the list in your mind cause when you get down to the nitigrity, most of us buy the brand. That’s why gala has survived all these years, and let’s not even talk about indomie.
One very interesting fact about a brand is, once it’s been established it pours value on the said product. It really doesn’t matter what they used to make the product or how it was made, they will just make it sound fancy, and because it belongs to so and so brand we would just agree and buy. That is how Gucci will tell you the bag was handstitched and bam another 100k on top and we will just follow as if the people that graduated from fashion school cannot do it too. I don’t want to hear material has cost or gist of experience, I know, but the brand costs more. It doesn’t matter how grotesque the dress looks, it was made by so and so therefore it has worth. Period.
So why all this brand and worth gist yes? Isn’t it obvious yet? A lot of times we humans go about looking for what to use in branding ourselves, what brand we belong to, something by which we ought to gain worth from. In the world we live in today our choices are endless. They range from our friends, to our spouses, to what we wear, the ‘thing’ we identify with be it our race, skin tone, political view, religion, whatever it may be. We walk around gathering brands and building our “worth”, creating what we refer to as an identity. My questions are these, is it ever enough? What are your brands? and How much are you worth?
It’s Christmas again and in all my excitement I was just thinking about how special this season is to me and how Jesus was born and all that and I realised that that simply meant that it was so to speak the establishment of his branding process on earth for me. God started the final touches of my redemption plan that faithful day when baby Jesus cried his first. Because of Christmas he could die for me on the cross and give me the priceless opportunity to be branded a child of God. This brand means that I am worth nothing less than the death of Christ. My own lord and personal saviour. Sitting in my chair typing this I feel so incredibly humbled. Honnays I don’t know about y’all but my brand means I’m worth dieing for, that’s more than all the money in all the bank accounts in the world. Christ knew my worth and he deemed it affordable irregardless of anything so he just went ahead and paid my price. Guess what?  He also paid yours too so if you haven’t accepted his free gift of salvation don’t let this moment pass you by, brand yourself too. Say this prayer with me:
“lord Jesus, I admit I’ve sinned. I know that you came to die for my sins on the cross. I ask for your forgiveness and that you come into my life as my lord and saviour. Thank you you for your saving grace. Amen.”
For all of us now walking branded,
High five. This is a Christmas reminder that as far as this world is concerned, you’re priceless. Because of Jesus you’re of insurmountable worth cause he branded you by his blood on the cross. Don’t you let the world buy you for less. Remember to walk branded this Christmas. Happy holidays.

Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people
– luke 2:10

Ps: do me a favour and check out thank me later.

Honnay I’m gonna be great!!!

Hey you?  Here’s a question for you, do you want to be great?  This girl right here knows she wants to be.
So I was listening to my mum few days back and while she preached she said something like “I always knew I was going to be great, I didn’t know how but I knew I’d be in the limelight.” My first reaction was to laugh and in my head I was just like “such pride though.” But it got me thinking. Only God knows why she was so convinced of herself but in that sentence I could hear aspiration and determination. She was talking about how all great people she saw on TV including her dad who was her hero smoked so since she was going to be great, it was eminent she start smoking (her logic though… sigh). Well she never lived her smoking dream, bless God. But do you realise that she was so determined to be and sure she’d be great that she was about to do all she thought it took? How determined are you? did you notice also that she was about to direct her determination in the wrong way? Thank God for Jesus. But she’s a great woman now, hence I can make it, so can you.
Anywho later I was watching “Exodus: God’s and kings,” (it’s a cool movie, check it out. If you don’t like it I didn’t say anything) and I noticed that Rameses, Moses’ step brother who became king was a great man, I mean he ruled the empire of the world as at the time, he had monuments, power, riches and his name remained in history forever, not just among those who ruled Egypt but as a bible character. You can’t tell the story of Moses or the children of Israel without him, You can’t explain the history of salvation without him, he was pretty great I’d say, and there are many like him too. Check out Ahab and wife Jezebel, or Haman and their many counterparts, they all made history. But there’s a catch.
Do you realise that they were all popular in their time, they were  all celebrated by people, they lived the good life, yet at the end not one of them had a story of their own. Not one. Please if you find in historical archives notify me. All their greatness and at the end of the day God carefully used them to tell other people’s stories. So this and that person stood against -insert God’s persons name- and at the end God prevails. End of story. Biko weren’t they great?, didn’t they make history? So why aren’t you aspiring to be one of them?
I know why I’m not if you don’t. I’m not about to let God use me to tell someone else’s story. I want my own. I want to be a Moses and Gideon, an Esther and Ruth. I don’t want to be the less-great-but-still-made-the-cutoff in the background, I want to be the woman whose faith travailed, who refused to give up, who heard the voice of God and changed direction, who didn’t let the devil get the last laugh because why should he be laughing at all? This is not a funny something.
Honey where are you directing your greatness too? Because I have learnt in this world there is great and there is great. Pick your great well. If you are on team “Jesus-great” then get off your bum right now and put on the whole armour of God, cause this is pretty much a fight, and through it all we need to stand, stand very still and let the world know that he is God.
Happy new week lovers…  

Coming to him as to a living stone, rejected indeed by men, but chosen by God and precious
– 1 Peter 2:4

I learnt a lesson 2

Hello you? How have you been? Tell me you missed me, cause I missed you too…
My busy holiday finally came to an end 😭😭😭… yes I enjoyed it that much. It was AWSOME, but hey its another semester yea? I feel how great it’s gonna be already. But anywho I’m back with another poem. So for those who said they wanted the first poem completed till ten well I did my best. I hope you love it again. If you haven’t seen the first part it’s in my previous personal post. So here it is

I learnt a lesson
I learnt six
I learnt it’s mostly the heart that speaks
The things the mind often seeks
But never listening gives us our fix

I learnt a lesson
I learnt seven
I learnt the cards never play even
The things on you often engraven
Never worth the shame being hidden

I learnt a lesson
I learnt eight
I learnt the question forever is fate
Who indeed holds the slate          
To what standard we ought to rate

I learnt a lesson
I learnt nine
I learnt it’s in truth we often find shine
But the lie we all claim be mine
The scar in the end be fine wine

I learnt a lesson
I learnt ten
I learnt the fear behind the pen
That even paper can be a den     
But yet the journey is spelt learn

So in the the end
I leant a lesson
Only but one
That the answer sometimes is fun       often times the race never run
But in all the chance is mostly one

…By the way expect my next post in the #hello fear series… coming soonest.

But if I pray in an unknown tongue, mu spirit prayeth, but my understanding is unfruitful
– 1 corinthians 14:14

On Feminism, Lions, Cats and Crocodiles..

Still Waters..

I do not identify as a feminist.


The philosophy of my life does not permit me to do that.

And I will tell you why.

Feminism is an argument that defeats itself even before it starts.

It makes the male species the standard of equality and excellence.

Such that women have to “fight” to be equal to men.

And I say a resounding NO.

I am not equal to a man.

That would be way below what the creator intended for me.

I am equal to the 4.5 billion cells in my brain.

I am equal to its processing speed of millions of bits of information per second.

I am equal to being anything I want to be in this world.

When the United Nations carefully hand picked 15 university students from across the globe to sit on its highest committee at the youth conference of 2011, and I…

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